It’s normal to feel anxious when you start trying for a baby again. In addition to the anxiety about having another miscarriage, you may also feel a sense of guilt and sadness for moving forward from your previous pregnancy. Trying again doesn’t mean you’ll forget what your baby meant to you.
Pregnancy following miscarriage can indeed be a highly anxious time and you may be experiencing a huge range of emotions. However, if you constantly feel fearful that you may experience a miscarriage again, consider consulting a mental health professional for support.
Common feelings and reasons for wanting to try again
To help heal from your miscarriage
Some people feel that falling pregnant and trying again will help them heal from their miscarriage. Hope that next time everything will be ok often motivates people to try again.
Your partner wants to try again
How you and your partner feel may vary, and it is important to communicate and try again once both of you are ready – emotionally and physically.
You feel like you are running out of time
Age can impact your chances of conceiving, and it is common to feel like you are running out of time. However, it is important to speak to your partner and your doctor about your options and to try again when you are emotionally and physically ready to do so.
So we became pregnant about 4 months after [our miscarriage]. …that helped as well. Because then I had something else to focus my energy on. Also, you know looking at him going “If my last son had survived I wouldn’t have you” . . .I can’t dwell on the fact that I’ve lost.
Common feelings and reasons for not wanting to try again
Feeling scared or anxious
It is common to feel scared and/or anxious about trying again and possibly having another miscarriage.
…once you’ve had that first miscarriage you certainly always hold that fear of something going wrong… After the first time, each subsequent pregnancy, you are on a tightrope, because you know what you’re looking for. And I know for me, I was very focused on checking for the signs, you know looking to see it’s all going wrong.
Feeling stressed
It can be very stressful when you are trying to conceive, and it is normal to feel this way. Your doctor or other support services may offer ways for you and your partner to manage stress while trying to conceive again.
You have experienced multiple miscarriages
The experience of miscarriage is physically and emotionally difficult. It is normal to not want to try again after experiencing miscarriages and it is ok to feel this way.
Fertility or specialist treatment is expensive
If you are undergoing specialist care or assisted reproductive treatment, the costs can be very expensive. It is normal to feel like you don’t want to try again due to financial strains.
